I didn’t know you left

You see

We weren’t in the habit
of talking
anymore

not really

but I miss you
in a selfish way
because
because I thought
we had more
more time

When did you leave?
You weren’t a part
of my life
before you left

long before you left

Why do I have to miss you?

No

I miss the possibility of you

You’re not possible
anymore

And I miss
the memories we’ll never make

“It’s not okay!
I didn’t tell you
you could go!”

but that’s a selfish thing to say…

but I am human

let me be

angry
  broken
    selfish

Let me scream

You should have stayed.

(This poem is raw. It is what I feel this moment. It will stay unedited)

Please don’t take from me
what you’re not willing to keep
I can’t carry that

I do like to think
that you are thinking of me
Ah! I see you are

You’re so beautiful
that when you say you’re not
I want to punch you
in your pretty face

Though I can’t be perfect
I can be a lot of imperfect things.
We all have value
and we are all loved
even when we’re blind to it

Carpet of cherries
rotting sweetly in the shade
beautiful decay

Tried to hide my flame
but now the world is on fire
burning so brightly

I have forgotten
the dry wilderness
of your lips

I cannot recall your kiss
or the deep and secret
lingering scent
of strawberries

You were a dream
and I don’t remember
you

Only the feel
of your silk skin
Only the bitter taste
of waking

Why is the morning
so bright?

So bitter?

Can we forget
      not the first time
but the second
the third
the thirtieth?
Can we forget
the terrible
inbetween?

No, there is no dream
to match your rough wilderness
No, neither nightmare