I've come to buy Christmas today
Could you tell me which aisle it's in?
Do I need to go this or that way?
Or perhaps it's here in this bin?

I've come to buy Christmas today
My children must have every bit
Now hurry and show me the way
To your biggest holiday kit

What do you mean
I can't buy it here?
Your ad clearly says,
"Christmas sale
biggest this year!"

I've come to buy Christmas today
Now run and fetch it my friend
And I'll put this big gun away
Then all of our problems will end

I've come to buy Christmas today
And I won't leave without it