pain

This was not heaven
because heaven forgets
and I will always recall

And this was not hell
for no torture of hell
could match the pain
of wanting you

No, this was a dream
a dream of you
And this dream
this dream was my life

I am sorry I abandoned you
I should have been larger than my pain
I should have been greater than my pride
I turned away when I should have looked deeper
I deafened myself in defense
I should have offered to listen
My loyalty should have been to friendship
Not my over tender heart
But now
I am here
I am listening
I have grown beyond my pride
I have parted ways with old pain
I am your friend
Though I know you are not mine

She whistled at my pain
and it came running
to beg and lap
at wounds that were
a little saltier
than before
my tears

By wind harsh
and gentle lover's bites
our lips bleed
and heal, scarred
Each day new wounds
Each day new healing
And so we kiss
speak and make love
through faded pain

On wings of blood
she flies now,
the angel of
my undoing.
She scored her arms
and wings unfurled,
burgandy.
Wings that carried her
through my body
igniting nerves,
nerves that curled
like vines in fire.
She was pain
and now I am
nothing.