stand

When I see you
there is a silence in my heart
as if the very blood
Must stand in awe

I can never say
impressive things
because I want
to impress you

I can whisper gentle
words that cut
and make them bleed
for the want of me
but they
don't concern me

I don't understand
Why I'm frail
and lost in doubt
when I speak
to you

I know where I stand
with them
Two feet from desire
and closer to
seduction

Where am I with you?
Am I even a thought?
The ghost of a feeling?
I think I am fading
past unimportant.

Let me out!
This life is poor
and I want
a reset.

Let me out!
I can't stand
who I am.

I hate that she left me,
but I cannot fault her.
I am of no value.
I am worthless,
because
I do not
desire
to be
worthy.

I sabotage myself,
because
I have a hard time
caring about
my
life.

I ruin myself,
because
I'd rather
see myself suffer
than see myself
succede

I hate this
place,
this time,
this shit.

I hate me.