you

I will love you
Just a little
Past the moment
I die
After my body stops
And my brain grows cold
A few neurons will fire
Dimly in the darkness
And those neurons
Will be memories and thoughts
Of you

This was not heaven
because heaven forgets
and I will always recall

And this was not hell
for no torture of hell
could match the pain
of wanting you

No, this was a dream
a dream of you
And this dream
this dream was my life

I am sorry I abandoned you
I should have been larger than my pain
I should have been greater than my pride
I turned away when I should have looked deeper
I deafened myself in defense
I should have offered to listen
My loyalty should have been to friendship
Not my over tender heart
But now
I am here
I am listening
I have grown beyond my pride
I have parted ways with old pain
I am your friend
Though I know you are not mine

I am cold
and I need you
to warm my veins
It is not love
but desire
It is not passion
but resurrection
I can live
In your arms
Breathe as you moan
draw you close
and pretend
your heartbeat is mine
I am cold
and your warmth
is like life

When I see you
there is a silence in my heart
as if the very blood
Must stand in awe