you

What consumes you
is glorious
yet
it consumes

You are the essence
The distillation of it
The spirit of love

I will love you
Just a little
Past the moment
I die
After my body stops
And my brain grows cold
A few neurons will fire
Dimly in the darkness
And those neurons
Will be memories and thoughts
Of you

This was not heaven
because heaven forgets
and I will always recall

And this was not hell
for no torture of hell
could match the pain
of wanting you

No, this was a dream
a dream of you
And this dream
this dream was my life

I am sorry I abandoned you
I should have been larger than my pain
I should have been greater than my pride
I turned away when I should have looked deeper
I deafened myself in defense
I should have offered to listen
My loyalty should have been to friendship
Not my over tender heart
But now
I am here
I am listening
I have grown beyond my pride
I have parted ways with old pain
I am your friend
Though I know you are not mine